my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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