She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
