Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
