im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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