Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
