the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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