The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
