Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
