oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
