he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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