i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
you made out with another girl for some wings
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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