We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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