i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
