never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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