I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
40s are totally the cure
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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