Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
