He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The struggles of a small town man whore
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
