We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
there is puke in my bra ... again
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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