Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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