He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
