oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
