it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize