His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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