I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
In other news, I just burned my penis
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
