I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
