Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I need moral support for this bender
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
