I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
