just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
