38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
