It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
