Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Two words: blizzard sex
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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