i just made my gag reflex go away.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
