dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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