we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
organizing the empties. That sober.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
