I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
