There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Randomize
