If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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