The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
