so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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