Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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