Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
no you cant smoke seaweed
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
