I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We got so high we made milksteak
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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