how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
it glows. i had to have it.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
