their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
