sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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