I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
