I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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