My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
