I want you more than these girls want KFC
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
