As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
you never un-have a 4some
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
