you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
