i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
