i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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