we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
