me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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