My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
