we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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